I once read a quote that said; ‘I pray you quit everything that’s causing you pain. Comparing, complaining, criticizing and believing you’re not good enough. There’s so much inside you, you’ve just been looking outside for too long.’ We have read books, listened to songs and told that we can do anything that we want to do. We have gone through experiences that affirmed these words, that indeed we are not ordinary people, we are different and extraordinary. On the other hand, we have gone through situations that left us meek. There is a thin line that separates the humble nature and egoistic nature of human beings. Today we can have ‘everything’ and tomorrow we can be robbed of those things but no matter which side we swing at we must learn to go on, humbled. This is a belief that I have come to embrace. Going through both humbling and exalting experiences, I have come to let go entitlement and rather stick with a humble mind but not forgetting that I am good enough to make anything that I visualize possible.
My parents struggled to find me a good high school after I finished my primary education. I went for an interview for two subjects that I had passed well in primary and that I had done prior revision. I was confident that I would be successful in the interview only to score 1 out of ten in one of the subjects. My dad struggled to get a spot for me in that school and this saw him spend a couple of nights away from home. I blamed myself all through and I wondered why fate was against me. Finally, mercies were on my side, I was called to sign a Memorandum of Understanding with the school that would see me kicked out if I didn’t get good grades in my first term. I shrank in fear as I thought of the worst that could happen if i didn't get the grades we targeted. However, I was glad they had taken a chance on me. I didn't waste that chance. I performed not only well but to a point that I almost won a scholarship for the four years I was going to be in that school.
I signed up for guitar and piano classes that I really enjoyed but I won’t forget the teacher who taught me in that music class. One day he (tutor) looked at me and said, ‘’I see you organizing and leading a team of people. You are the kind of person who is going to talk to people and tell them how to do things. Your appearance and how you get things fast is the reason I’m telling you all this.’’ That started a conversation that saw me spend more hours in that music room- we lost track of time. It’s true I was a fast learner in those guitar classes and but it was because my heart was there. His words have stuck with me because he saw something that I couldn’t see.
My truth is, just because you have had more than a couple of situations that showed you that you are just an ordinary folk or are not good enough for something you thought you were, take it as a humbling experience. Maybe you think you are the smartest lass, the most hardworking or the most attractive guy. You need to let go of that ego. Truth is you will not always have those attributes unless you work hard to maintain them. You shouldn’t attach those attributes to your self-worth and thus to your self-esteem. And if you feel you are never good enough in something, or someone uttered those words and you are stuck with them, there will be a small voice assuring you that your presence matters. It doesn’t have to matter to any of those people but it matters whether you are ‘good enough’ or not. Being grateful for the positive attributes that one possesses and sharing those talents to help people will strike a balance between your egoistic and humbling nature.